For Adult Children & Caregivers
“Help! Taking care of my own family and career is hard enough, but my parents need help too!”
Somehow, it's gotta get done ... and it will. The question is 'How?
Facing years of accumulated possessions is daunting – someone has compared it to a tidal wave about to break!
As you try to balance your own life with career and family, you too are overwhelmed as you wonder how to help your parents or friend. Decisions must be made, belongings must be sorted, boxes must be packed, and the list keeps getting longer. And those are just the physical aspects of the move. What about the emotional part? There's a lifetime of memories stashed in the closets and drawers – and it needs to be handled with care.
Somehow, it's gotta get done ... and it will. The question is 'How?
Facing years of accumulated possessions is daunting – someone has compared it to a tidal wave about to break!
As you try to balance your own life with career and family, you too are overwhelmed as you wonder how to help your parents or friend. Decisions must be made, belongings must be sorted, boxes must be packed, and the list keeps getting longer. And those are just the physical aspects of the move. What about the emotional part? There's a lifetime of memories stashed in the closets and drawers – and it needs to be handled with care.
What you can do...
- Go into this process keeping 3 objectives in mind – care for your parents, take care of yourself, and keep the family intact.
- Talk to your parents and remember to listen. Even though moving will often improve your parent's quality of life, it also will bring up all kinds of emotions. They may see this move as a sign of defeat, a loss of control and independence. Find out as much as you can about your parents' health, needs, fears, and hopes so you can help direct them to the best choices possible. Help your parents focus on the positive aspects.
- Educate yourself about elder care issues and options. The better educated you are, the more help you will be to your parents. Talk to your siblings about the process and try to get everyone on the same page.
- Get your things out of your parents' home! If your parents have been storing your schoolwork, childhood toys, books, and old camping equipment – it's time to take them off their hands!
- Help get your parents' finances in order. This is crucial in order to know what kind of care your parents can afford and how they plan to pay for it.
- Talk to a doctor. Your parents' family physician may be able to evaluate them and make a recommendation. If not, ask for a referral to a geriatrician who can do a full evaluation.
- Allow ample time for this moving process. Not being rushed will allow your parents to review their lives through stories associated with their possessions, including photos and memorabilia. Some items may seem unimportant to you, but remember...your parents have held onto them for a reason. Many have memories attached to them and hold sentimental value. Make sure your parent feels involved in the decision-making process of what stays and what goes. They are more likely to be cooperative through the downsizing process when they feel respected.
- KISS – Keep It Simple Silly!. Things that may sound easy for you – like having a garage sale – will not be easy for your parents. Keep this transition process as simple and streamlined and easy on your parents as possible.
- Try to replicate the old environment as much as possible. It may be comforting to duplicate the picture arrangement over the sofa, or have the same old reading chair next to the same old table and lamp as in the previous home. Let them choose what they want to take. This reinforces their sense of control. The more in control they feel throughout this process, the better adjustment they will make in the new home.
- Accept their gifts. If asked if you would like to have something, take it with gratefulness.
- Be nice and tactful. You may see that your parents housekeeping skills are not what they used to be. Tactfully offer to clean things as you sort or pack. Avoid making your parents feel badly about the home they are leaving.
- Focus on sorting, not packing. This is the most time consuming part of the process. Helping to sort and organize belongings is the single most important thing you can do to reduce the stress of moving, ensure a smooth move and save money.
- If all this seems too much to handle, consider calling in the pros. Having an outside professional to help has advantages. At ReNesting Resources, we are an objective third party and we know what to do. We have been well trained through experience and education to get the job done with great care, compassion, and efficiency. Supporting your family with personalized and affordable services is important to moving you with grace and care.
It may be that you just need a consultation for a plan and encouragement. But if you need more, we'll be there. Call us at 828-381-7622 or email us at [email protected]. Let's get started with a consultation.
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Member of National Association of Senior Move Managers
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Certified Relocation
and Transition
Specialist
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Member of
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